It appears I’ve been doing this all wrong…

by zydecopaws on April 1, 2010

Over the past several years I’ve put a lot of effort into making BBQ what now appears to be the hard way. According to information I received on Twitter today, the following picture details all you need for BBQ Chicken Breasts:


Now I can donate all my grills and smokers to a local charity and clean out all of that silly wood and charcoal from the garage. No need to go outdoors to cook, and I can’t wait to invite some friends over to sit around the crockpot while the BBQ is cooking and drink adult beverages while shooting the bull.

That’s right, it’s April FauxQuers Day, and that is your leg being pulled. And they were out in farce today on Twitter. One tweet in particular caught my eye and gave me something to do in between wiki updates at work. It all started with this one:


Ok, it seems that use of a crockpot excites some of these folks, so much so that they confuse something that requires cooking with real flame and smoke with boiling meat in sauce. I attempted to clear up the confusion.


It appears that a short comment while repeating part of what they said was a bit too obscure for this in-duh-vidual.


So now it was time for a more direct approach. Notice that I was still attempting to be polite; some of these FauxQuers get their feelings hurt when you attempt to educate them and do things like report you as being “inappropriate”. Clearly they’ve not seen what happens during the #bbqcomedyhour (another Twitter phenomenon).


In spite of this effort, her response made it pretty clear I wasn’t getting my point across.


Ok, so maybe she doesn’t want to use all the extra characters when tweeting. I figured I would offer up a more appropriate term for her to use.


Maybe this was just a case of ignorance rather than a FauxQuer being obstinate. Her next tweet led me to this conclusion.


Yep, a clear case of ignorance, not one of those FauxQuers that knowingly boil their ribs in sauce and expect us to believe the results are even remotely as good as what comes off the smoker. I sent her off to visit DRs BBQ Manifesto in the hopes that her ignorance could be cured.


I haven’t heard back from her since, however her tweets since then indicate heavy drinking after dinner and promises of sexual acts for her husband. I’m guessing both were necessary to make up for the boiled chicken in BBQ sauce…

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