Family size pizza isn’t always a bargain

by zydecopaws on July 18, 2010

My son and I came home after spending a few days at the lake engaged in frivolous pastimes and various meat comas. We were greeted with family size take-and-bake pizzas from Papa Murphy’s that SWMBO purchased on sale. It had been awhile since I’d cooked one of these on Bubba Ho-Keg and I quickly discovered that something had changed since the last time I’d done this.

All of the pizza stones were broken. And we have no pizza pans that are big enough for a family size pizza. Undeterred, I forged ahead and put the pizzas on the BGE diffuser using the coated paper that they get cooked on in the oven. First up was a Hawaiian pizza. Can someone explain to me what Canada has to do with Hawaii?

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I purposely kept the temperature down to about 500°F in the hopes that the paper wouldn’t burn. Didn’t work. The edges that hung out over the BGE diffuser turned to char in less than 8 minutes and ruined a portion of the pizza that was about the difference between a family size and a large. The rest of the pizza crust wasn’t even crispy; it’s a good thing we have kids around that will eat almost anything.

The second pizza went on while still in the paper and at about the 4 minute mark was removed from the paper and put on the largest pan we have. The edge of the crust hung over the pan by about 2 inches all the way around. Here’s a picture taken right before I pulled it off.

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As you can see fro the pictures, portions of the pizza are drooping into the fire; trust me when I say that those parts were charred beyond my ability to enjoy them. Once again, we lost pretty much the difference between the family size and a large.

But not to despair, the meal was saved by dessert. Peach crumble (same topping as the cherry and apple crumbles but with fresh peaches as the star attraction) was being prepped, and after overcoming some misgivings from the spouse, I finally convinced her to not heat up the oven (and the house) since I had a perfectly good fire going on Bubba Ho-Keg.

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As you can see, this turned out pretty good, and since I didn’t wait around for Bubba Ho-Keg to get the heat turned down it was ready to eat in about 20 minutes. 500°F fires will do that for baked goods…

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As usual, it was spooned over vanilla ice cream and made a wonderful end to an otherwise disappointing dinner. The moral of this story is either buy pizzas that fit your pans or get bigger pans.

Notice I said pans. We try not to think about buying more stones around here. They don’t seem to last very long…

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