By now you’ve probably gone beyond the “yuck” reaction and are wondering what the heck we were up to tonight. Who puts cottage cheese on a pizza, and more to the point, why?
The why is easy to understand when you pull out the “fresh” mozzarella cheese and it smells like an old sweaty basketball shoe. Before you even open the package. Trust me when I say this is what it smelled like; it may be a long time since I actually played a game of basketball, but I still remember the smell of the shoes afterwards.
So the mozzarella went into the garbage. Outside. And we went into creative mode. Out came the cottage cheese to drain. Pizza sauce was made in accordance with traditional practices, and the cottage cheese was treated to a session with the immersion blender, and folded into the sauce. TJ’s pizza crusts were put into action, and bacon was employed to insure at least one of the pizzas would be edible. We also tossed some mushrooms and olives on for good measure.
This pizza turned out to be surprisingly good. The sauce texture was a bit weird, and there weren’t any strings of cheese that pulled off with each bite, but those of us that were home made short work the pizza.
The remaining sauce/cheese mixture was then enhanced with some crushed pineapple. I’m not sure of the brand, but this was about the finest ground pineapple I’d ever seen, and it disappeared into the sauce/cheese mixture so well you couldn’t see it. Some shredded honey ham topped it all off, and it made for a strange looking beast coming off the grill.
It tasted ok, but wasn’t near as good as the bacon pizza. Overall, dinner didn’t suck, we proved cottage cheese can be used on a pizza with acceptable results, and I finally figured out what was making the refrigerator smell like a locker room.