BBQ Quotes

The Internet is a great source of information, misinformation, and general mischief.  In the spirit of the previous sentence, we offer up here a collection of BBQ quotes, misquotes, and stuff we just made up.  Some of these folks actually said some of these things, and if they didn’t, perhaps they should have.

Without further adieu, and in no particular order…

Barbecue is popular because it combines the maximum of temptation with the maximum of opportunity. – George Bernard Shaw

Build a barbecue that even a fool can use, and only a fool will want to use it. – George Bernard Shaw

What would you attempt to barbecue if you knew you could not fail? – Robert Schuller

Those who cannot remember the past barbecue are condemned to repeat it. – George Santayana

Experience is simply the name we give our barbecue mistakes. – Oscar Wilde

Always tell the truth about your barbecue. Then you don’t have to remember anything. – Mark Twain

It is a miracle that barbecue survives formal education. – Albert Einstein

Barbecue that is really great and inspiring is created by the individual who can labour in freedom. – Albert Einstein

Do not worry about your difficulties in barbecue. I can assure you mine are still greater. – Albert Einstein

As far as the laws of barbecue refer to reality, they are not certain; and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality. – Albert Einstein

A man sits with a pretty girl for an hour, it seems like a minute. He sits on a hot barbecue for a minute, it’s longer than any hour. That is relativity. – Albert Einstein

Nothing has really happened until it has been recorded. – Virginia Woolf (Usually misquoted as “no pictures, didn’t happen”)

Good barbecue comes from experience, and experience, well, that comes from poor barbecue. – Cousin Woodman

It’s not the barbecues in my life that count, it’s the life in my barbecues. – Mae West

I have never let my schooling interfere with my barbecue. – Mark Twain

Health food makes me sick. – Calvin Trillin (bet he likes barbecue…)

And in the end the barbecue you take is equal to the barbecue you make. – The Beatles

We are what we repeatedly do. Barbecue, then, is not an act, but a habit. – Aristotle

I barbecue, therefore I am. – Rene Descartes (I believe the original Latin was “barbecue, ergo sum.”)

Beam me up Scotty. There is no good barbecue on this planet. – James T. Kirk (some planet other than Earth, I presume)

To barbecue or not to barbecue, that is the question. – William Shakespeare

The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sauces. – Albert Einstein

The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious barbecue. It is the source of all true art and science. – Albert Einstein

Not everything that can be barbecued counts; and not everything that counts can be barbecued. – Albert Einstein

Learn from yesterday’s barbecue, live for today’s barbecue, hope for tomorrow’s barbecue. The important thing is not to stop questioning why people would boil ribs… – Albert Einstein

Spare rib anyone? – Adam

Always wear something sensible when cooking at the barbecue. – Lady Godiva

Barbecuing is one percent inspiration, and ninety- nine percent perspiration. – Thomas Edison

It is better to have burnt and lost, then never to have barbecued at all. – William Shakespeare

Barbecue cannot be held responsible for people falling in love. – Albert Einstein

Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried to barbecue anything. – Albert Einstein

Barbecue should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler. – Albert Einstein

Strong the sauce in this one truly is. – Yoda

The larger the mass of food, the more energy it will take to cook. This energy input should be distributed over a larger time period or the surface of the food will receive a disproportionate amount of that energy. – Albert Einstein (He’s clearly referring to low- and- slow cooking here)

Give a man a barbecue, feed him for a day; Teach a man to barbecue and feed him for the summer. – Jesus

Barbecue is the answer, but while you’re waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions. – Woody Allen

Pleasure in the job puts perfection in the barbecue. – Aristotle

The gods too are fond of a barbecue. – Aristotle

Choose the life that is most useful, and barbecue will make it the most agreeable. – Francis Bacon

If we do not maintain the barbecue, the barbecue will not maintain us. – Francis Bacon

All you need is barbecue. – The Beatles, song title

One of rarest things that a man ever does is the steak on the grill. – Josh Billings

Glory is fleeting, but barbecue is forever. – Napoleon Bonaparte

Barbecue is the shortest distance between two people. – Victor Borge

The question is not whether we will barbecue, but how we will barbecue. – Joan Borysenko

It is important that students bring a certain ragamuffin, barefoot, irreverence to their barbecue; they are not here to worship what is known, but to question it. – J. Bronowski, The Ascent of Man

If someone offers you a breath mint, accept it. – H. Jackson Brown, Jr., Life’s Little Treasure Book, on wisdom (and barbecue)

Let the refining and improving of your own barbecue keep you so busy that you have little time to criticize others. – H. Jackson Brown

Barbecue is not a matter of chance; but a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, It is a thing to be acheived. – William Jennings Bryant

Too bad all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and barbecuing. – George Burns

Friendship is like barbecue, easier made than kept. – Samuel Butler

Man is the only animal that barbecues and has a state legislature. – Samuel Butler

You can get more with a kind word and a barbecue than you can with a kind word alone. – Al Capone

Contrariwise,” continued Tweedledee, “if it was so, it might be, and if it were so, it would be; but as it isn’t, it ain’t. That’s barbecue!” – Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

Begin at the beginning and go on till you come to the end; then stop and barbecue. – Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

The most wasted day of all is that in which we have not barbecued. – Sebastian Roch Nicolas Chamfort

The person who does not enjoy his own barbecue is usually right. – Coco Chanel

Barbecue has not been tried and found wanting; it has been found difficult and not tried. – G. K. Chesterton

The optimist sees opportunity in every barbecue; the pessimist sees barbecue in every opportunity. – Winston Churchill

We make a living by what we get, we make a life by the barbecue we give. – Winston Churchill

The most wasted of all days is one without barbecue. – ee cummings

A little barbecue now and then is relished by the wisest men. – Roald Dahl

I’m at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I’ve just had a mirror put over my barbecue. – Rodney Dangerfield

It is not good enough to have a good barbecue grill; the main thing is to use it well. – Rene Descartes

Action may not always bring barbecue; but there is no barbecue without action. – Benjamin Disraeli

Talk to a man about his barbecue and he will listen for hours. – Benjamin Disraeli

The soul is healed by barbecuing with children. – Fyodor Dostoyevski

Barbecue is 99 percent perspiration and 1 percent inspiration. – Thomas Edison

If you would thoroughly know barbecue, teach it to others. – Tryon Edwards

Barbecue should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler. – Albert Einstein

Barbecue that is really great and inspiring is created by the individual who can labour in freedom. – Albert Einstein

Barbecue cannot be held responsible for people falling in love. – Albert Einstein

Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop barbecuing. – Albert Einstein

Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a judge of barbecue is shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods. – Albert Einstein

A barbecue is a chance for you to do your best. – Duke Ellington

I hate boiled ribs. Tell me what you know how to barbecue. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

No great barbecue was ever achieved without enthusiasm. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within our barbecue. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Don’t bother just to barbecue better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to barbecue better than yourself. – William Faulkner

My best friend is the one who brings out the best barbecue! – Henry Ford

Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your barbecue. – Henry Ford

One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can barbecue what he was afraid he couldn’t do. – Henry Ford

Whether you think that you can barbecue, or that you can’t, you are usually right. – Henry Ford

You can’t build a reputation on what you are going to barbecue. – Henry Ford

I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone’s barbecue equally. – W. C. Fields (obviously not a fan)

The nourishment from barbecue is palatable. – Millard Fillmore, dying words

The test of a first-rate barbecue is the ability to hold two opposed meats in the smoker at the same time, and still retain the ability to function. – F. Scott Fitzgerald

Barbecue shows in not only the ability to persist but the ability to start over. – F. Scott Fitzgerald

You couldn’t get a barbecue during the barbecue mating season in a field full of horny barbecues if you smeared your body with barbecue sauce and did the barbecue mating dance. – Edward Flaherty

There’s a saying among prospectors: “Go out looking for one barbecue, and that’s all you’ll ever find.” – Robert FlahertyLife is a series of barbecues, each one of which makes us bigger, even though it is hard to realize this.

I would rather live in a world where my life is surrounded by barbecue than live in a world so small that my mind could comprehend it. – Harry Emerson Fosdick

The whole art of teaching barbecue is only the art of awakening the natural curiosity of young minds for the purpose of satisfying it afterwards. – Anatole France

When a thing has been barbecued and barbecued well, have no scruple. Take it and copy it. – Anatole France

Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to barbecue. – Rose Franken

Keep your eyes wide open before barbecue, and half shut afterwards. – Benjamin Franklin

Ne’er take a wife till thou hast a house (and a barbecue) to put her in. – Benjamin Franklin

There are three great friends: an old wife, an old dog, and ready barbecue. – Benjamin Franklin

Whatever is barbecued in anger ends in shame. – Benjamin Franklin

Love and work are the cornerstones of our barbecue. – Sigmund Freud

Husbands are like barbecues. They go out if unattended. – Zsa Zsa Gabor

I never hated a man enough to give him his barbecue back. – Zsa Zsa Gabor

I’m an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the barbecue. – Zsa Zsa Gabor

I believe in barbecue for everyone, except reporters and photographers. – Gandhi

I think it would be a good idea. – Gandhi, when asked what he thought of Western barbecue

There is more to barbecue than increasing its speed. – Gandhi

Whatever you barbecue will be insignificant, but it is most important that you do it. – Gandhi

Where there is love there is barbecue. – Gandhi

I skate to where the barbecue is going to be, not to where it has been. – Wayne Gretzky

I don’t think I’ll get married again. I’ll just find a woman I don’t like and give her a barbecue. – Lewis Grizzard

The price of barbecue is eternal vigilance. – Thomas Jefferson

I have not yet begun to barbecue. – John Paul Jones

Friends may come and go, but barbecues accumulate. – Thomas Jones

There are those who look at barbecues the way they are, and ask why… I dream of barbecues that never were, and ask why not? – Robert Francis Kennedy

Practice random acts of kindness and sensless acts of barbecue. – Adair Lara

Researchers have discovered that barbecue produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana…The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two, but can’t remember what they are. – Matt Lauer

So little time, so little to barbecue. – Oscar Levant

There’s a fine line between barbecue genius and insanity. I have erased this line. – Oscar Levant

Always bear in mind that your own resolution to barbecue is more important than any other one thing. – Abraham Lincoln

And in the end it’s not the barbecues in your life that count. It’s the life in your barbecues. – Abraham Lincoln

It has been my experience that folks who have no barbecues have very few virtues. – Abraham Lincoln

Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him boiled ribs. – Abraham Lincoln

The better part of one’s life consists of his barbecues. – Abraham Lincoln

The best way to get husbands to barbecue something is to suggest that perhaps they are too old to do it. – Shirley MacLaine

From the moment I picked your barbecue up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend eating it. – Groucho Marx

I’ve had a perfectly wonderful barbecue. But this wasn’t it. – Groucho Marx

Disbelief in barbecue can force a poor soul into believing in government and business. – Tom Robbins

Using words to describe barbecue is like using a screwdriver to cut roast beef. – Tom Robbins

We are all here for a spell; get all the good barbecue you can. – Will Rogers

If barbecue did not exist, it would be necessary to invent it. – Voltaire

Happiness is not barbecuing what you want, but wanting what you barbecue. – Rabbi H. Schachtel, The Real Enjoyment of Living

What would you barbecue if you knew you could not fail? – Robert Schuller

It is not because barbecue is difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare to barbecue that they are difficult. – Seneca

We never reflect how pleasant it is to ask for barbecue. – Seneca

Barbecue isn’t about finding yourself. Barbecue is about creating yourself. – George Bernard Shaw

Love is a gross exaggeration of the difference between one person’s barbecue and everybody else’s. – George Bernard Shaw

There is no sincerer love than the love of barbecue. – George Bernard Shaw

One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: that word is barbecue. – Sophocles

A woman without a man is like a fish without a barbecue. – Gloria Steinem

Barbecue is not merely necessary to life, it is life. – Alvin Toffler

Always do barbecue right; this will gratify some people and astonish the rest. – Mark Twain

The more I know about people, the better I like my barbecue. – Mark Twain

A woman has got to love a bad barbecue once or twice in her life to be thankful for a good one. – Mae West

It’s not the barbecues in my life that count, it’s the life in my barbecues. – Mae West

Paradoxically though it may seem, it is none the less true that barbecue imitates art far more than art imitates barbecue. – Oscar Wilde

There are only two tragedies in life: one is not barbecuing what one wants, and the other is barbecuing it. – Oscar Wilde

Barbecue is the refuge of people who have nothing better to do. – Oscar Wilde

Good barbecue comes from experience, and experience- well, that comes from poor barbecue. – Cousin Woodman

One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not barbecued well. – Virginia Woolf

Barbecue is popular because it combines the maximum of temptation with the maximum of opportunity.
- George Bernard Shaw
Build a barbecue that even a fool can use, and only a fool will want to use it.
- George Bernard Shaw
What would you attempt to BBQ if you knew you could not fail?
- Robert Schuller
Those who cannot remember the past BBQ are condemned to repeat it.
- George Santayana
Experience is simply the name we give our BBQ mistakes.
- Oscar Wilde
Always tell the truth about your BBQ. Then you don’t have to remember anything.
- Mark Twain
It is a miracle that BBQ survives formal education.
- Albert Einstein
BBQ that is really great and inspiring is created by the individual who can labour in freedom.
- Albert Einstein
Do not worry about your difficulties in BBQ. I can assure you mine are still greater.
- Albert Einstein
As far as the laws of BBQ refer to reality, they are not certain; and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality.
- Albert Einstein
A man sits with a pretty girl for an hour, it seems like a minute. He sits on a hot BBQ for a minute, it’s longer than any hour. That is relativity.
- Albert Einstein
Nothing has really happened until it has been recorded. (Usually misquoted as “no pictures, didn’t happen”)
- Virginia Woolf
Good barbecue comes from experience, and experience–well, that comes from poor barbecue.
- Cousin Woodman
It’s not the BBQs in my life that count, it’s the life in my BBQs.
- Mae West
I have never let my schooling interfere with my barbecue.
- Mark Twain
Health food makes me sick. (bet he likes BBQ…)
- Calvin Trillin
And in the end the BBQ you take is equal to the BBQ you make.
- The Beatles
We are what we repeatedly do. BBQ, then, is not an act, but a habit.
- Aristotle
I BBQ, therefore I am. (I believe the original Latin was BBQ, ergo sum.)
- Rene Descartes
Beam me up Scotty. There is no good BBQ on this planet. (some planet other than Earth, I presume)
- James T. Kirk
To BBQ or not to BBQ, that is the question.
- William Shakespeare
Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a judge of good barbecue is shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods.
- Albert Einstein
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sauces.
- Albert Einstein
The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious BBQ. It is the source of all true art and science.
- Albert Einstein
Not everything that can be barbecued counts; and not everything that counts can be barbecued.
- Albert Einstein
Learn from yesterday’s BBQ, live for today’s BBQ, hope for tomorrow’s BBQ. The important thing is not to stop questioning why people would boil ribs…
- Albert Einstein
Spare rib anyone?
- Adam
Always wear something sensible when cooking at the barbecue.
- Lady Godiva
Barbecuing is one percent inspiration, and ninety-nine percent perspiration.
- Thomas Edison
It is better to have burnt and lost, then never to have barbecued at all.
- William Shakespeare
BBQ cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein
Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried to barbecue anything.
- Albert Einstein
BBQ should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler.
- Albert Einstein
Strong the sauce in this one truly is.
- Yoda
The larger the mass of food, the more energy it will take to cook. This energy input should be distributed over a larger time period or the surface of the food will receive a disproportionate amount of that energy. (He’s clearly referring to low-and-slow cooking here)
- Albert Einstein
Give a man a BBQ, feed him for a day; Teach a man to BBQ and feed him for the summer.
- Jesus
Barbecue is the answer, but while you’re waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.
- Woody Allen
Pleasure in the job puts perfection in the barbecue.
- Aristotle
The gods too are fond of a barbecue.
- Aristotle
Choose the life that is most useful, and barbecue will make it the most agreeable.
- Francis Bacon
If we do not maintain the BBQ, the BBQ will not maintain us.
- Francis Bacon
All you need is barbecue.
- The Beatles, song title
One of rarest things that a man ever does is the steak on the grill.
- Josh Billings
Glory is fleeting, but barbecue is forever.
- Napoleon Bonaparte
Barbecue is the shortest distance between two people.
- Victor Borge
The question is not whether we will barbecue, but how we will barbecue.
- Joan Borysenko
It is important that students bring a certain ragamuffin, barefoot, irreverence to their barbecue; they are not here to worship what is known, but to question it.
- J. Bronowski, The Ascent of Man
If someone offers you a breath mint, accept it.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr., Life’s Little Treasure Book, on wisdom (and barbecue)
Let the refining and improving of your own barbecue keep you so busy that you have little time to criticize others.
- H. Jackson Brown
Barbecue is not a matter of chance; but a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, It is a thing to be acheived.
- William Jennings Bryant
Too bad all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and barbecuing.
- George Burns
Friendship is like barbecue, easier made than kept.
- Samuel Butler
Man is the only animal that barbecues and has a state legislature.
- Samuel Butler
You can get more with a kind word and a barbecue than you can with a kind word alone.
- Al Capone
Contrariwise,” continued Tweedledee, “if it was so, it might be, and if it were so, it would be; but as it isn’t, it ain’t. That’s barbecue!”
- Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
Begin at the beginning and go on till you come to the end; then stop and barbecue.
- Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
The most wasted day of all is that in which we have not barbecued.
- Sebastian Roch Nicolas Chamfort
The person who does not enjoy his own barbecue is usually right.
- Coco Chanel
Barbecue has not been tried and found wanting; it has been found difficult and not tried.
- G. K. Chesterton
The optimist sees opportunity in every barbecue; the pessimist sees barbecue in every opportunity.
- Winston Churchill
We make a living by what we get, we make a life by the barbecue we give.
- Winston Churchill
The most wasted of all days is one without barbecue.
- ee cummings
A little barbecue now and then is relished by the wisest men.
- Roald Dahl
I’m at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I’ve just had a mirror put over my barbecue.
- Rodney Dangerfield
It is not good enough to have a good barbecue grill; the main thing is to use it well.
- Rene Descartes
Action may not always bring barbecue; but there is no barbecue without action.
- Benjamin Disraeli
Talk to a man about his barbecue and he will listen for hours.
- Benjamin Disraeli
The soul is healed by barbecuing with children.
- Fyodor Dostoyevski
Barbecue is 99 percent perspiration and 1 percent inspiration.
- Thomas Edison
If you would thoroughly know barbecue, teach it to others.
- Tryon Edwards
A man sits with a pretty girl for an hour, it seems like a minute. He sits on a hot barbecue for a minute, it’s longer than any hour. That is relativity.
- Albert Einstein
As far as the laws of mathematics refer to barbecue, they are not certain; and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to barbecue.
- Albert Einstein
Do not worry about your difficulties in barbecue. I can assure you mine are still greater.
- Albert Einstein
Barbecue should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler.
- Albert Einstein
Barbecue that is really great and inspiring is created by the individual who can labour in freedom.
- Albert Einstein
Barbecue cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein
It is a miracle that barbecue survives formal education.
- Albert Einstein
Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop barbecuing.
- Albert Einstein
Not everything that can be barbecued counts; and not everything that counts can be barbecued.
- Albert Einstein
The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious barbecue. It is the source of all true art and science.
- Albert Einstein
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sauces.
- Albert Einstein
Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a judge of barbecue is shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods.
- Albert Einstein
A barbecue is a chance for you to do your best.
- Buke Ellington
I hate boiled ribs. Tell me what you know how to barbecue.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
No great barbecue was ever achieved without enthusiasm.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within our barbecue.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Don’t bother just to barbecue better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to barbecue better than yourself.
- William Faulkner
My best friend is the one who brings out the best barbecue!
- Henry Ford
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your barbecue.
- Henry Ford
One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can barbecue what he was afraid he couldn’t do.
- Henry Ford
Whether you think that you can barbecue, or that you can’t, you are usually right.
- Henry Ford
You can’t build a reputation on what you are going to barbecue.
- Henry Ford
Don’t bother just to barbecue better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to barbecue better than yourself.
- William Faulkner
I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone’s barbecue equally.
- W. C. Fields (obviously not a fan)
The nourishment from barbecue is palatable.
- Millard Fillmore, dying words
The test of a first-rate barbecue is the ability to hold two opposed meats in the smoker at the same time, and still retain the ability to function.
- F. Scott Fitzgerald
Barbecue shows in not only the ability to persist but the ability to start over.
- F. Scott Fitzgerald
You couldn’t get a barbecue during the barbecue mating season in a field full of horny barbecues if you smeared your body with barbecue sauce and did the barbecue mating dance.
- Edward Flaherty
There’s a saying among prospectors: “Go out looking for one barbecue, and that’s all you’ll ever find.”
- Robert Flaherty
Life is a series of barbecues, each one of which makes us bigger, even though it is hard to realize this.
I would rather live in a world where my life is surrounded by barbecue than live in a world so small that my mind could comprehend it.
- Harry Emerson Fosdick
The whole art of teaching barbecue is only the art of awakening the natural curiosity of young minds for the purpose of satisfying it afterwards.
- Anatole France
When a thing has been barbecued and barbecued well, have no scruple. Take it and copy it.
- Anatole France
Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to barbecue.
- Rose Franken
Keep your eyes wide open before barbecue, and half shut afterwards.
- Benjamin Franklin
Ne’er take a wife till thou hast a house (and a barbecue) to put her in.
- Benjamin Franklin
There are three great friends: an old wife, an old dog, and ready barbecue.
- Benjamin Franklin
Whatever is barbecued in anger ends in shame.
- Benjamin Franklin
Love and work are the cornerstones of our barbecue.
- Sigmund Freud
Husbands are like barbecues. They go out if unattended.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
I never hated a man enough to give him his barbecue back.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
I’m an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the barbecue.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
I believe in barbecue for everyone, except reporters and photographers.
- Gandhi
I think it would be a good idea.
- Gandhi, when asked what he thought of Western barbecue
There is more to barbecue than increasing its speed.
- Gandhi
Whatever you barbecue will be insignificant, but it is most important that you do it.
- Gandhi
Where there is love there is barbecue.
- Gandhi
I skate to where the barbecue is going to be, not to where it has been.
- Wayne Gretzky
I don’t think I’ll get married again. I’ll just find a woman I don’t like and give her a barbecue.
- Lewis Grizzard
The price of barbecue is eternal vigilance.
- Thomas Jefferson
I have not yet begun to barbecue.
- John Paul Jones
Friends may come and go, but barbecues accumulate.
- Thomas Jones
There are those who look at barbecues the way they are, and ask why… I dream of barbecues that never were, and ask why not?
- Robert Francis Kennedy
Practice random acts of kindness and sensless acts of barbecue.
- Adair Lara
Researchers have discovered that barbecue produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana…The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two, but can’t remember what they are.
- Matt Lauer
So little time, so little to barbecue.
- Oscar Levant
There’s a fine line between barbecue genius and insanity. I have erased this line.
- Oscar Levant
Always bear in mind that your own resolution to barbecue is more important than any other one thing.
- Abraham Lincoln
And in the end it’s not the barbecues in your life that count. It’s the life in your barbecues.
- Abraham Lincoln
It has been my experience that folks who have no barbecues have very few virtues.
- Abraham Lincoln
Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him boiled ribs.
- Abraham Lincoln
The better part of one’s life consists of his barbecues.
- Abraham Lincoln
The best way to get husbands to barbecue something is to suggest that perhaps they are too old to do it.
- Shirley MacLaine
From the moment I picked your barbecue up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend eating it.
- Groucho Marx
I’ve had a perfectly wonderful barbecue. But this wasn’t it.
- Groucho Marx
Disbelief in barbecue can force a poor soul into believing in government and business.
- Tom Robbins
Using words to describe barbecue is like using a screwdriver to cut roast beef.
- Tom Robbins
We are all here for a spell; get all the good barbecue you can.
- Will Rogers
If barbecue did not exist, it would be necessary to invent it.
- Voltaire
Those who cannot remember the barbecue are condemned to repeat it.
- George Santayana
Happiness is not barbecuing what you want, but wanting what you barbecue.
- Rabbi H. Schachtel, The Real Enjoyment of Livin
What would you barbecue if you knew you could not fail?
- Robert Schuller
It is not because barbecue is difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare to barbecue that they are difficult.
- Seneca
We never reflect how pleasant it is to ask for barbecue.
- Seneca
Build a barbecue that even a fool can use, and only a fool will want to use it.
- George Bernard Shaw
Barbecue isn’t about finding yourself. Barbecue is about creating yourself.
- George Bernard Shaw
Love is a gross exaggeration of the difference between one person’s barbecue and everybody else’s.
- George Bernard Shaw
Barbecue is popular because it combines the maximum of temptation with the maximum of opportunity.
- George Bernard Shaw
There is no sincerer love than the love of barbecue.
- George Bernard Shaw
One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: that word is barbecue.
- Sophocles
A woman without a man is like a fish without a barbecue.
- Gloria Steinem
Barbecue is not merely necessary to life, it is life.
- Alvin Toffler
Health food makes me sick.
- Calvin Trillin
Always do barbecue right; this will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
- Mark Twain
I have never let my schooling interfere with my barbecue.
- Mark Twain
The more I know about people, the better I like my barbecue.
- Mark Twain
A woman has got to love a bad barbecue once or twice in her life to be thankful for a good one.
- Mae West
It’s not the barbecues in my life that count, it’s the life in my barbecues.
- Mae West
Paradoxically though it may seem, it is none the less true that barbecue imitates art far more than art imitates barbecue.
- Oscar Wilde
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not barbecuing what one wants, and the other is barbecuing it.
- Oscar Wilde
Barbecue is the refuge of people who have nothing better to do.
- Oscar Wilde
Good barbecue comes from experience, and experience-well, that comes from poor barbecue.
- Cousin Woodman
Nothing has really happened until it has been recorded.
- Virginia Woolf (usually misquoted as “no pictures, didn’t happen”)
One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not barbecued well.
- Virginia Woolf